A Superscription
Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been;
I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;
Unto thine ear I hold the dead-sea shell
Cast up thy Life's foam-fretted feet between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
Which had Life's form and Love's, but by my spell
Is now shaken shadow intolerable,
Of ultimate things unuttered the frail screen.
Mark me, how still I am! But should there dart
One moment through thy soul the soft surprise
Of that winged Peace which lulls the breath of sighs,--
Then shalt thou see me smile, and turn apart
Thy visage to mine ambush at thy heart
Sleepless with cold commemorative eyes.
I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;
Unto thine ear I hold the dead-sea shell
Cast up thy Life's foam-fretted feet between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
Which had Life's form and Love's, but by my spell
Is now shaken shadow intolerable,
Of ultimate things unuttered the frail screen.
Mark me, how still I am! But should there dart
One moment through thy soul the soft surprise
Of that winged Peace which lulls the breath of sighs,--
Then shalt thou see me smile, and turn apart
Thy visage to mine ambush at thy heart
Sleepless with cold commemorative eyes.
Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Sonnet XCVII, "A Superscription"
*For a long time I could not forget a love that was intense and that was blind. A love that everyone could see through my eyes. A love that always made me cry. It was a grey-eyed shadow that tormented me to death, that made me shake, that I could not deal with, but it seemed to be a never-endinng nightmare.
Distance is good... You can pretend not to care.
Suddenly, memories came back and I was there seeing myself falling deeper and deeper, just as quickly as those memories were taking shape and colour.
Then the unbearable silent thoughts.
Now, I dare break free from any bonds between the shadow and me. Just as Rossetti means, from now on, I will remember everything, but in another way. He won't be the special one anymore. And I swear he will see me smile because I will not be daydreaming or hoping for anything at all. And that's the last image he will have of me; my coldness will be reflected into his commemorative eyes.
Because sooner or later we'll meet again, that's for sure.
Distance is good... You can pretend not to care.
Suddenly, memories came back and I was there seeing myself falling deeper and deeper, just as quickly as those memories were taking shape and colour.
Then the unbearable silent thoughts.
Now, I dare break free from any bonds between the shadow and me. Just as Rossetti means, from now on, I will remember everything, but in another way. He won't be the special one anymore. And I swear he will see me smile because I will not be daydreaming or hoping for anything at all. And that's the last image he will have of me; my coldness will be reflected into his commemorative eyes.
Because sooner or later we'll meet again, that's for sure.
Comments
Te amé, y al decirlo ahora
Doblando la frente mustia,
Muere la voz en mis labios,
Tiembla en mi mano la pluma:
Dos lágrimas mis mejillas
En ondas de fuego surcan,
Al recordar esas horas
Que no han de volver ya nunca!
Mi amor fue un sueño de dicha
Tan inocente y tan pura,
Que aún hoy su aroma me embriaga
Y su fulgor me deslumbra.
Sin él, el mundo me ofrece
La soledad de la tumba;
Y si hoy con él me brindaras,
Llorando dijera: ¡nunca!
Como enemigos aceros
Nuestras palabras se buscan,
Y altivas desdeñosas
Nuestras miradas se cruzan.
Con tu suprema arrogancia
Me has provocado a una lucha,
En que podrás verme muerta,
Rendida a tus plantas ¡nunca!
Si suplicante y vencida
Caigo ante ti en esa lucha,
¡Que tu desprecio me agobie!
¡Que tu altivez me confunda!
¡Sello de eterna ignominia
Mi frente a tus ojos cubra!
Piedad, de mí no la tengas;
De mí no la aguardes ¡nunca!
Por ti he libado mil veces
El cáliz de la amargura…
Óyeme bien: si algún día
Con voz de amor y de angustia,
Clamases perdón llorando
De hinojos sobre mi tumba,
Se irguiera ante ti mi sombra
Y airada dijera: ¡nunca!
--Clara L. Ferrer
Tu entrada me hizo recordar ese poema.