In Limbo
I was getting angry with life... again. It's just that I can't believe the things that happen around. I think it's unfair. However, I'd better keep calm if I want to be helpful.
Gosh, on the post below I was asking myself if AG remembered. Well, today we were talking about that and, dahhh, of course she remembers everything and more!!! And then she claimed the right to see me cry, but no, that's not a good idea.
Mmm, you see, AG asked what was happening with me. She said I used to be the bad, careless, insensitive, and evil Selfish girl, only defeated by a grey-eyed shadow and a black-eyed clown... and almost defeated by a nerd-book. But, according to her (and some others, by the way) I'm not the same, and nothing compares to this. Of course she understands that I go mad, because she's seen most of the worst episodes of my madness; but she finds it hard to believe that I stay where I am, because, yes, I had never done that. I had always thought that once you reached the dead end, it was time to go for the next thing. With the cases I mentioned above there was a certain range of difficulty. It took me years (and you know I mean many years) to forget the grey-eyed shadow; I only needed to hear his name to break down. I used to think I would never fall in love again. The black-eyed clown was nothing, but was extremely meaningful at the same time. I was flying high, so high that when I crashed against the floor it was damned painful. The nerd-book, well, I guess that was a whim, an unfinished story from the past, a challenge to see who was the most dangerous and hurtful, yeah, it was revenge. The case is that, no matter how bad things were, I was always willing to start new things, to have fun. Now, I just can't. I tried and it was useless (gosh, I'm hearing laughters at my bad attempt with Mr Tilapia). Why is it so? It's frustrating. What do I do with what I feel for him? Ahhh, noo, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a Selfish behaviour!! I'm considering my feelings only because I'm the only one feeling something here.
What should I do? The girls told me off last 30th. IR was about to kick me when I told her I had missed the trip... Well, she even looked up to the sky when I said I didn't really care. They said something like "What the hell are you waiting for? That's what you need!! Grrr, you're wrong."Mmm, it seems I still have an opportunity to do the right thing. The possibility came out of nothing, I didn't expect it. Hahaha, I've just fallen into a histerical mood. Hahahaha. Gosh, hahaha. Doors, hahaha. I don't know. I mean, it could be perfect, but then again, as long as I'm unable to forget, I won't be able to move on. Gosh, I want to be the bad Selfish again.
Ahhh, prudence's back to me (more or less), so I'm going to keep what was the main subject of the post below for me alone. I guess there are some things about which you cannot write anymore, they need to be talked about... Mmm, as my ability to speak is not good, then maybe I'll keep silence anyhow.
Ahhh, a weekend song... Wahhhhh
Gosh, on the post below I was asking myself if AG remembered. Well, today we were talking about that and, dahhh, of course she remembers everything and more!!! And then she claimed the right to see me cry, but no, that's not a good idea.
Mmm, you see, AG asked what was happening with me. She said I used to be the bad, careless, insensitive, and evil Selfish girl, only defeated by a grey-eyed shadow and a black-eyed clown... and almost defeated by a nerd-book. But, according to her (and some others, by the way) I'm not the same, and nothing compares to this. Of course she understands that I go mad, because she's seen most of the worst episodes of my madness; but she finds it hard to believe that I stay where I am, because, yes, I had never done that. I had always thought that once you reached the dead end, it was time to go for the next thing. With the cases I mentioned above there was a certain range of difficulty. It took me years (and you know I mean many years) to forget the grey-eyed shadow; I only needed to hear his name to break down. I used to think I would never fall in love again. The black-eyed clown was nothing, but was extremely meaningful at the same time. I was flying high, so high that when I crashed against the floor it was damned painful. The nerd-book, well, I guess that was a whim, an unfinished story from the past, a challenge to see who was the most dangerous and hurtful, yeah, it was revenge. The case is that, no matter how bad things were, I was always willing to start new things, to have fun. Now, I just can't. I tried and it was useless (gosh, I'm hearing laughters at my bad attempt with Mr Tilapia). Why is it so? It's frustrating. What do I do with what I feel for him? Ahhh, noo, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a Selfish behaviour!! I'm considering my feelings only because I'm the only one feeling something here.
What should I do? The girls told me off last 30th. IR was about to kick me when I told her I had missed the trip... Well, she even looked up to the sky when I said I didn't really care. They said something like "What the hell are you waiting for? That's what you need!! Grrr, you're wrong."Mmm, it seems I still have an opportunity to do the right thing. The possibility came out of nothing, I didn't expect it. Hahaha, I've just fallen into a histerical mood. Hahahaha. Gosh, hahaha. Doors, hahaha. I don't know. I mean, it could be perfect, but then again, as long as I'm unable to forget, I won't be able to move on. Gosh, I want to be the bad Selfish again.
Ahhh, prudence's back to me (more or less), so I'm going to keep what was the main subject of the post below for me alone. I guess there are some things about which you cannot write anymore, they need to be talked about... Mmm, as my ability to speak is not good, then maybe I'll keep silence anyhow.
Ahhh, a weekend song... Wahhhhh
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