Last night I had a strange dream. I can only say that I woke up like 2 or 3 times and, as far as I can remember, the same dream continued on and on, but now I just don't know what it was about. Mmm, it's the first time in my whole life that something like this happens. The only thing I'm sure of is that I had a dream of him. After many hours being awake, the only thing that remains from that dream is his face. I don't know if that's a good or a bad sign. I haven't seen him, not even in pictures... It's almost been a month. But that image is clear in my mind, he's not faded yet.
It's weird because last Saturday I had a very good time and now... The dream. It's as if every time I thought I could start forgetting, the invisible something made it impossible. Well, it's not only that; to be honest, there are many things that make if difficult. I have lots of memories. Things I used to love listening to now turn out to be vomitive. Certain words and expressions make me sick. I don't love rain anymore. Even this blog sucks, it's the depiction of the hell I've been through for most of this year. I can't stand reading my own posts and that's the reason why I have hardly been here lately. Tonight, when I finally have the courage to log in, the first thing I find is that new automatic spam detection for comments, decide to check it out and there I am, redirected to a tab where I can read all the comments together. Horribly painful.
All of this is hurtful because he doesn't care, and right now I mean "he doesn't care" as he understands it.
Summarising: I've made a fool of myself.
It's weird because last Saturday I had a very good time and now... The dream. It's as if every time I thought I could start forgetting, the invisible something made it impossible. Well, it's not only that; to be honest, there are many things that make if difficult. I have lots of memories. Things I used to love listening to now turn out to be vomitive. Certain words and expressions make me sick. I don't love rain anymore. Even this blog sucks, it's the depiction of the hell I've been through for most of this year. I can't stand reading my own posts and that's the reason why I have hardly been here lately. Tonight, when I finally have the courage to log in, the first thing I find is that new automatic spam detection for comments, decide to check it out and there I am, redirected to a tab where I can read all the comments together. Horribly painful.
All of this is hurtful because he doesn't care, and right now I mean "he doesn't care" as he understands it.
Summarising: I've made a fool of myself.
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