The Selfish Melts Down
I said good-bye to depression last weekend, but now it has returned and is worst than ever.
I'm perfectly able to accept that things with Blackeyed went wrong because of strong differences: religion, ideals, honesty. But when someone thinks that there must be a marked distance between us just because the way I am, without knowing the way I am, that's something I cannot bear. For the first time in a long time I felt I was Me-Myself-Paola, letting aside the self(ish)-defense. But ohhh big mistake. Now I know it was not a matter of being sincere, of sharing my feelings and thoughts with the wrong man. I was afraid of having scarred him with this Unselfish behaviour... No, it was because he thinks that drinking coffee and writing mails on a lap top in a given place is the worst of cliches and he would never be related to a woman like this.
I cried, and cried a lot because I was hurt, because he broke my heart with that. To tell the truth, I would have preferred an answer like "girl, don't be silly, you are my friend and nothing else" or "I'm sorry if you misunderstood things, I was not flirting with you", because I'm aware of the fact that it is impossible to force somebody to stay with you if they don't want to. However, the fact that he is judging me at such a superficial level is killing me; if he cannot see beyond that, I guess the one who's wrong is him.
Jajajaja, I' m still wondering how it comes that those ****** he goes out with are better than me just because I was drinking coffe and writing an email from a coffe-shop. He didn't even know the reason why I was there, he was plain enough to to find out my ways with that little detail. That's not fair. I tried to figure out the possible reasons for his silence, but that's the one I forgot to think over. It would have been the last one in my list, but I didn't even considered it.
I'ts a shame you don't know me.
It's a shame your groundless prejudices against me are tearing me apart.
It`s a shame you are incapable of seeing that not all things are as they seem to be at first sight.
It's a shame I love you so much.
It's a shame... I didn't want things to be this way, but now there's nothing I can do.
Well, it's time to turn the page and leave you behind, my dear past... I should have known from the very beginning everything was going to end this way. It's very difficult for me, but not only do I have to say good-bye to depression but also to You.
The Selfish begins a phase of recovery.
I'm perfectly able to accept that things with Blackeyed went wrong because of strong differences: religion, ideals, honesty. But when someone thinks that there must be a marked distance between us just because the way I am, without knowing the way I am, that's something I cannot bear. For the first time in a long time I felt I was Me-Myself-Paola, letting aside the self(ish)-defense. But ohhh big mistake. Now I know it was not a matter of being sincere, of sharing my feelings and thoughts with the wrong man. I was afraid of having scarred him with this Unselfish behaviour... No, it was because he thinks that drinking coffee and writing mails on a lap top in a given place is the worst of cliches and he would never be related to a woman like this.
I cried, and cried a lot because I was hurt, because he broke my heart with that. To tell the truth, I would have preferred an answer like "girl, don't be silly, you are my friend and nothing else" or "I'm sorry if you misunderstood things, I was not flirting with you", because I'm aware of the fact that it is impossible to force somebody to stay with you if they don't want to. However, the fact that he is judging me at such a superficial level is killing me; if he cannot see beyond that, I guess the one who's wrong is him.
Jajajaja, I' m still wondering how it comes that those ****** he goes out with are better than me just because I was drinking coffe and writing an email from a coffe-shop. He didn't even know the reason why I was there, he was plain enough to to find out my ways with that little detail. That's not fair. I tried to figure out the possible reasons for his silence, but that's the one I forgot to think over. It would have been the last one in my list, but I didn't even considered it.
I'ts a shame you don't know me.
It's a shame your groundless prejudices against me are tearing me apart.
It`s a shame you are incapable of seeing that not all things are as they seem to be at first sight.
It's a shame I love you so much.
It's a shame... I didn't want things to be this way, but now there's nothing I can do.
Well, it's time to turn the page and leave you behind, my dear past... I should have known from the very beginning everything was going to end this way. It's very difficult for me, but not only do I have to say good-bye to depression but also to You.
The Selfish begins a phase of recovery.
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