A Day In Life
Today, I could finally take the extra long walk I wanted... I should have kept that plan last Saturday in the first place. It was good for me, I thought a lot about the things that have been happening around.
First of all, I'm not angry anymore. Now I welcome the news that made me furious in the beginning. As they say, "let it be."
I already said "I'm sorry" for the bad Saturday night, and the best thing about it is that he also apologised for his behaviour. I promised not to call him the wrong name again, jajajaja. He sweared he would try not to be so stupid. It seems that in losing we gained a lot.
Mmmm, the other thing, no, that's something I'm still unable to resolve. I feel really bad because I'm being cold, unkind and unfair to him. After all, he's done nothing, he's not to blame for my madness. I just noticed some hours ago that in trying to get detached from him I can be hurtful, but I know no other way. I don't want to get away from him, I need him in a way I couldn't have imagined (gosh, he is such a good friend), yet this closeness chokes me because I wish I didn't feel all of this. Maybe it's is a defensive attitude of mine. I'm confused.
While I was walking I went through these strange things that can only happen to someone like me. As soon as I arrived in my planet (the surroundings of the faculty, jajaja) the first person I recognised was Federico... I was in doubt, I was afraid of talking to him. I took a deep breath and after some seconds or minutes (I was so nervous that I'm not sure) I went towards him and ahhhhh, he ambraced me and asked where I had been all this time, he even said he had been asking after me at the coordination, but no one knew anything about this Selfish. We're going to meet next week to talk a lot about Shakespeare and my existencial dumbness. My BA is waiting for me, so it's now or never, we agreed. I said I was so sorry a thousand times, I said I surely was his worst student and I also said I was a miserable bad researcher and writer. In return he gave me that sweet look of his and told me not to be so hard with myself, that I was more than good and that he would not say so if he didn't believe it. I was about to break down... Sir, I don't know if some day you'll read this blog (I haven't even confessed I have one) but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, that I admire you more than anybody else and that you are a great support for me. I appreciate you effort and need to thank you for your patience and understanding, not only in the academic sense, but in my personal and emotional crashes. I guess I've told you this face to face, but as my writing is better than my stammering speaking, you know, I tell you here. Once you said you were proud of me, but that wasn't enough, you also wanted to admire me. Cross my heart, I'll make a big effort to defeat the fear of myself.
Well, then I saw a long lost whatever, jajaja. Wow, he looks so handsome. He made me laugh a lot, I like his sense of humour; he's so sour and funny. I'm glad for that chance meeting.
I kept on walking and sat on the grass, dahhhh, it felt so good being there. I gathered some tree leaves, and these funny pointed seeds, I love them!!
The first English lesson was very good. Nancy, if you read this, congratulations!!! You did very well. I'm sure you will improve quickly.
The weird thing of the day: I saw a hippie singing to a rose... Yes, you're right, I wanted to join him but didn't dare ask if I could :P
First of all, I'm not angry anymore. Now I welcome the news that made me furious in the beginning. As they say, "let it be."
I already said "I'm sorry" for the bad Saturday night, and the best thing about it is that he also apologised for his behaviour. I promised not to call him the wrong name again, jajajaja. He sweared he would try not to be so stupid. It seems that in losing we gained a lot.
Mmmm, the other thing, no, that's something I'm still unable to resolve. I feel really bad because I'm being cold, unkind and unfair to him. After all, he's done nothing, he's not to blame for my madness. I just noticed some hours ago that in trying to get detached from him I can be hurtful, but I know no other way. I don't want to get away from him, I need him in a way I couldn't have imagined (gosh, he is such a good friend), yet this closeness chokes me because I wish I didn't feel all of this. Maybe it's is a defensive attitude of mine. I'm confused.
While I was walking I went through these strange things that can only happen to someone like me. As soon as I arrived in my planet (the surroundings of the faculty, jajaja) the first person I recognised was Federico... I was in doubt, I was afraid of talking to him. I took a deep breath and after some seconds or minutes (I was so nervous that I'm not sure) I went towards him and ahhhhh, he ambraced me and asked where I had been all this time, he even said he had been asking after me at the coordination, but no one knew anything about this Selfish. We're going to meet next week to talk a lot about Shakespeare and my existencial dumbness. My BA is waiting for me, so it's now or never, we agreed. I said I was so sorry a thousand times, I said I surely was his worst student and I also said I was a miserable bad researcher and writer. In return he gave me that sweet look of his and told me not to be so hard with myself, that I was more than good and that he would not say so if he didn't believe it. I was about to break down... Sir, I don't know if some day you'll read this blog (I haven't even confessed I have one) but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, that I admire you more than anybody else and that you are a great support for me. I appreciate you effort and need to thank you for your patience and understanding, not only in the academic sense, but in my personal and emotional crashes. I guess I've told you this face to face, but as my writing is better than my stammering speaking, you know, I tell you here. Once you said you were proud of me, but that wasn't enough, you also wanted to admire me. Cross my heart, I'll make a big effort to defeat the fear of myself.
Well, then I saw a long lost whatever, jajaja. Wow, he looks so handsome. He made me laugh a lot, I like his sense of humour; he's so sour and funny. I'm glad for that chance meeting.
I kept on walking and sat on the grass, dahhhh, it felt so good being there. I gathered some tree leaves, and these funny pointed seeds, I love them!!
The first English lesson was very good. Nancy, if you read this, congratulations!!! You did very well. I'm sure you will improve quickly.
The weird thing of the day: I saw a hippie singing to a rose... Yes, you're right, I wanted to join him but didn't dare ask if I could :P
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