The Selfishfly Effect
Yeah, you're going to think I'm mad, but I guess this is what people call the butterfly effect, now known in this blog as the selfishfly effect (hahaha). Ohh, yes, I think so. It's so confusing. Gosh, which is the right path??? Or, which path leads to the best place?
The "what if I" is a monster phrase. Above all because... well, I don't know exactly why. Hahaha, yes, of course I know, but I'm not telling those words. The thing is that it seems as if I were waiting for someone who in fact doesn't want me to wait for him, right? There's nothing good in that. But, the truth is that I don't expect anything. You may say that's the worst part of it because then I'm just fooling myself. Sorry, I can't help it. It's beyond my self-ish control. In a normal situation this would last no more than a week or so, the infatuation or pride revenge take no more than that amount of time to appease. But what the hell is this? I've been trying to track when everything started, and I just found the first lines. They're vague and abstract so I'm the only one who would recognize them. All sorts of moods and an unstable feeling, that's what I see there. But this is critical indeed. How did I reach this point? I mean, you know I'm the blushing ever shy hostile Selfish, but right now I don't care being this vulnerable. It's like the weight of my jeans and boots dragging me to the bottom in the drowning post. The only difference is that I don't feel the bad sensation now, but I'm not sure of how to reach the surface again. It looks like I'm closing doors, and I hate closing doors. So, coming back to the "what if I", gosh, I don't know what to do!!! Why is it that people appear in the worst moment? No matter what, if I had to choose, I wouldn't doubt even for a second... I would choose him. What a piece of a fool I am!!! But, no one is asking me to choose so it's all up to me.
*The despairing part of the effect is that you will never know what might have happened if you had chosen a different path or had opened another door... Or if you had stayed where you were in the beginning. Just think about it.
The "what if I" is a monster phrase. Above all because... well, I don't know exactly why. Hahaha, yes, of course I know, but I'm not telling those words. The thing is that it seems as if I were waiting for someone who in fact doesn't want me to wait for him, right? There's nothing good in that. But, the truth is that I don't expect anything. You may say that's the worst part of it because then I'm just fooling myself. Sorry, I can't help it. It's beyond my self-ish control. In a normal situation this would last no more than a week or so, the infatuation or pride revenge take no more than that amount of time to appease. But what the hell is this? I've been trying to track when everything started, and I just found the first lines. They're vague and abstract so I'm the only one who would recognize them. All sorts of moods and an unstable feeling, that's what I see there. But this is critical indeed. How did I reach this point? I mean, you know I'm the blushing ever shy hostile Selfish, but right now I don't care being this vulnerable. It's like the weight of my jeans and boots dragging me to the bottom in the drowning post. The only difference is that I don't feel the bad sensation now, but I'm not sure of how to reach the surface again. It looks like I'm closing doors, and I hate closing doors. So, coming back to the "what if I", gosh, I don't know what to do!!! Why is it that people appear in the worst moment? No matter what, if I had to choose, I wouldn't doubt even for a second... I would choose him. What a piece of a fool I am!!! But, no one is asking me to choose so it's all up to me.
*The despairing part of the effect is that you will never know what might have happened if you had chosen a different path or had opened another door... Or if you had stayed where you were in the beginning. Just think about it.
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