Suspiciously Quiet

Professor Domínguez used to say that I was the suspiciously quiet girl; in fact, she's always called me like that. I guess she knows whenever I'm eager to say something but don't dare speak. I'm shy yet dangerously expressive to death. Yeah, I'm full of contradictions. You may say I write too much. You may also say that what I write here is revealing. But writing is one thing, speaking is quite another. I feel rather (just a bit) confident when I write, but words get entangled on my tongue when I try to speak. It's not a matter of being afraid. I take responsibility of what I write here or everywhere else, but there's something that doesn't allow me to say the appropriate words when I speak. Somebody even told me that I'm really effusive and explosive when I write, but I'm cold as ice when we talk. Professor Patán says I've got to breathe and keep calm.

I can be in control of specific basic situations (haha). I mean, if I'm asked to give my opinion, I speak. If I'm a teacher, I speak. If I'm with close friends, I speak. But if I have to explain something important or have to talk in front of a crowd my brain overflows with words and that's when I lose my nerve. It's not that I don't know what to say, it's that I don't want to say anything at all. I prefer being the suspiciously quiet girl.

Or maybe it all amounts to what Eduardo Galeano says, "writing was my way of hitting and embracing."

*As you can see, I like Eduardo Galeano's book a lot.
*Here's that calm again :)
*Ok, I admit it, I'm afraid of many things :S